Playing Doctor

Initial Visit?

Monday, April 17

The Candyman

I'm standing in line at the Walgreen's, buying yet another padlock. I’m forever leaving them on the bench at the locker room and though there’s always a large collection of padlocks in the lost and found box, none of them are ever mine. So I’m continually replacing them.

I’m also buying a box of condoms.

This is the second time in as many months that I’ve been at this drugstore buying this combination of items. When I get to the teller it’s the same woman who rang up my padlock and box of condoms as last time.

She gives me a dirty look.

‘Oh,’ I say, refusing to be shamed be this half-toothless ashtray of a woman. I grab a bag of taffy from the display and place it on the counter, ‘I'll also take one of these.’

When I get outside, I check my messages. Again. Still nothing.

Chicago hasn’t returned my calls since our last date, which is not that big of a surprise.

But neither has Birmingham, and I have no idea why. Things were cool the last time I saw him, but he hasn’t returned my calls in over a week.

‘Perhaps he’s working on an undercover case,’ I tell myself, even though I know he doesn’t work undercover.

I know that both of them will be the roads less traveled, at least traveled by me.

I pop some taffy in my mouth and think of the toothless drugstore clerk, while dialing Stockholm’s number to confirm our date for tonight.


Blogger the other sarah writes:

The dentally challenged are ironically judgemental aren't they?

She probably looks at anyone buying condoms like that...


Blogger Sara writes:

Maybe she doesn't know what condoms are for? I remember being confused before I knew...


Blogger dan writes:

I think "Padlocks and Condoms" might have to be the name of your autobiography.


Blogger dan writes:

And don't think I didn't notice how you're rubbing the one "L" in Walgreen's in my face.


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