Playing Doctor

Initial Visit?

Monday, March 27

Selfless, Cold and Composed

We’re at Ruth's Chris Steak House listening to the speaker. He’s finished and community physicians are asking questions to make it sound like they read the New England Journal of Medicine, but reveal that they only read the titles of its articles.

The Marquis and I are ignoring them and whispering to each other.

‘You know how when you’re so attracted to someone,’ I’m saying, ‘that your jerk off orgasms are exceptionally great, leaving you dazed and confused? I’ve got that going on with all three of them.’

‘You’re jerking off about them,’ he asks, ‘after you’ve already had sex with them?’

‘I know,’ I say, shaking my head and looking down at the table to avoid eye contact.

‘You haven’t been this gone since that firefighter,’ The Marquis says, referring to something that happened over a year ago, ‘at least you’ve diversified yourself this go round.’

‘I feel a bit guilty,’ I say. ‘but at least two are going to self destruct. I just don’t know which two. If I knew one was going to work, I’d cut the others off.’

‘No you wouldn’t,’ The Marquis says laughing, then after some silence. ‘Besides, if you break up with them now, you’ll be in pain and they’ll be in pain. If you wait until the situation declares itself, they might still get hurt, but at least you’ll be spared. No sense in two people being hurt.’

‘There’s a certain logic to that,’ I tell him. ‘But the longer things go, the more it’s going to hurt them.’

‘Not necessarily. They might get tired of you, motherfucker,’ he says. ‘And if you break things off right away, they might be hurt that you didn’t give them more of a chance.’

I look away for a moment and listen to the speaker explain the details of a study for the community physician who sited it and how it’s not applicable to the disease being discussed.

‘I’m so glad I have a friend like you,’ I tell The Marquis, picking up my glass of Stags’ Leap Petite Syrah and toasting him.


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