Playing Doctor

Initial Visit?

Friday, March 10

How to Disappear Completely

‘That boy has no game,’ I’m saying to Dr Merteuil about Dr Pasteur. ‘You want to see his idea of game?’

As a radiologist friend—a cute blonde—walks by, I grab her hand.

‘Play a game with me,’ I tell her, ‘Pretend I’m Pasteur for a sec.’

She smiles and shows some teeth.

‘Hi,’ I say in my Dr Pasteur voice, ‘what’s your name?’

‘You know my name,’ she says, still holding my hand and giving it a little squeeze.

‘No,’ I say, back in my own voice, ‘Pretend I’m Pasteur and you don’t know me.’

She looks at Merteuil and then agrees.

‘Hi,’ I say in my Dr Pasteur voice, ‘what’s your name?’


‘Sara,’ I say, still in my Dr Pasteur voice, ‘can I have your phone number?’

The three of us laugh and Sara yanks her hand out of mine dramatically. She walks away shaking her head as Merteuil and I continue to laugh.

‘I’ve seen him try that shit fifteen times,’ I say. ‘Not in bars either—with other doctors.’

‘You know that blonde Ob/Gyn,’ she asks, laughing. I nod. ‘She agreed to go out with him. So he takes her to Outback Steakhouse.’ She starts laughing so much she stops talking for a moment. ‘He tells her he chose the restaurant because he knows she’s Australian.’

I’m laughing too, but I’m confused.

‘She’s not Australian,’ I say. ‘She’s South African.’

‘I know,’ she says, laughing so hard she’s crying.

I’m laughing, but glance out the window when I think I see Pasteur coming in from the patio entrance, but it’s just a reflection and a trick of the light.


Blogger Miss Celaneous writes:

If your buddy is Dr. Merteuil, are you a Valmont?
Just curious.


Blogger Chuckles writes:

Awesome. That was awesome. I knew there was someone out there who made me look better than Clooney and you, sir, work with him.


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