Just Call Me the Love Doctor

Many of the emails I receive are from people asking romantic advice. Last week, I received this one:

‘Dear Doctor Erik’ writes Joe from Duluth, Minnesota, ‘Can you give me some tips for a first date. I can get dates, but they never want to go out with me again. What am I doing wrong?’

For Joe, in Duluth, here are five simple tips for a first date that you can print out and save in your wallet:

1. If you and your date might return to your place for a nightcap, make sure there are not used condoms visible in the waste basket.

2. Everyone likes a compliment as well as reassurances about weaknesses. Try to reassure people by commenting on their best feature, such as: ‘You have beautiful eyes; they really draw attention away from your nose.’ Or ‘You are so adventurous. Most people wouldn’t have the courage to wear that.’

3. Some people consider tardiness rude. Try to show up within an hour of the time you agreed to meet.

4. Don’t control the whole evening. Give options and choices. ‘Would you prefer going bowling or my buddy Tony’s poker game?’

5. If you get bored, I’ve learned it’s considered rude to say so. It’s better to say the Haitian food didn’t agree with you and you have to get home right away. You can drive to a pick-up bar after you drop your date off.