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Wednesday, July 13

Uncynical Wednesdays: Public Service Announcement

If you’re getting ready for a date that you’re excited about, and you’ve already bought everything for your menu of sautéed asparagus with cocktails, an appetizer of artichokes with garlic butter, and an entrée of pan-seared, curry dusted sea scallops on a bed of oven-roasted, vine-ripened tomatoes, and you get a phone call while you’re roasting the tomatoes and you hear:

‘I’ve been in an auto accident. I’m not going to make it.’

Do not default into putting the scallops and artichokes into the fridge, walking to the liquor cabinet and start drinking scotch.


This is important, because ninety minutes later you might get a call saying,

‘Everything’s worked out. Do you still want me to come over?’

Because then you have to: 1) Get the smell of scotch off your breath, 2) Cook dinner while being full-on drunk, 3) Remain functional as you continue with Lillet over grapefruit slices during the pre-meal, still cooking, and then the 2003 Groth sauv blanc with the meal, to say nothing of the after-dinner drinks 4) For the rest of the evening keep telling yourself: ‘stay witty, not drunk; stay witty, not drunk; stay witty, not drunk…’



This has been a Public Service announcement from your friends here at Playing Doctor.

6 Comments:

7/13/2005
Blogger hot babe writes:

Boy if I had a nickel...

 


7/13/2005
Anonymous Anna writes:

Ha! I knew everything would work out perfectly.

 


7/13/2005
Blogger dan writes:

So did you stay witty or get drunk? And how did you learn to cook so frou frou? I'm lucky if I can bang out a plate of tacos.

 


7/13/2005
Blogger Erik writes:

No one wants to hear about you banging a plate of tacos, Dan. We have too much respect for you to think about that.

 


7/13/2005
Blogger jamesdamian writes:

How did you get the smell of scotch off your breath? That may come in handy someday.

 


3/29/2011
Anonymous Anonymous writes:

Out of the mouth of cynicism the truth will out, but that's not to say you can't put it straight into a body-bag if it tries anything too weird.

 


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