There’s a Reason They Say Hog Tied

So last night in the ED, a nurse came up and said we had a patient who’d been bitten by a hog. I just looked at her, saying nothing, waiting to hear the story.

Apparently, this guy had pulled the hog’s head up so that he could slit its thoat and lost his grip and it turned around and bit the shit out of his hand.

‘Good for the hog,’ another doctor said. So now, I looked at the other doctor, puzzled at the turn this conversation was taking.

‘The guy’s in pain,’ the nurse continued. ‘You want me to give him something?’

‘How bad’s the pain?’ The other doctor asked.

‘Well, he’s crying, and he’s a big guy,’ she said, ‘the kind of guy who slits hogs’ throats.’

‘Not very well, apparently, if it bit him,’ I said. ‘And it doesn’t sound like he’s got a very strong grip.’