Playing Doctor

Initial Visit?

Thursday, April 14


My friend Damon and I were talking about requirements for second dates.

We weren’t talking about the whole trifecta for a long term relationship: Intelligent, Beautiful, and Interesting. Having any one of the three could probably get a single date, as long as the other categories ranked at least a neutral. I said you can rob one to pay the other in this equation. Ugly and Intelligent could get a date, if you add Interesting.

But for second dates, two categories are required with at least a neutral in the third. And not all categories are equal, for example, Interesting and Beautiful always outweighs Intelligent. And, as Damon pointed out, sometimes having interesting talents can count as being interesting, sometimes for up to five dates. Depending on what the talents are…

Here’s a game for you to play that continues the vein of my self-depreciation week: Match the lettered category of the attractiveness with the numbered description of how I would screw things up.

Good luck and no cheating!

(If you don’t understand Venn diagrams
review them first, or you won’t win.)

  1. I’ll want to hang out with you all the time. One night when we’ve been drinking, I’ll get a little handsy. Then I’ll stop returning your calls for two weeks.
  2. I’ll be charming and kiss you goodnight. It’ll take me an exaggerated effort to pull away from you and drive myself home. On a subsequent date, you will say something to make me jelous, like ‘I’m sleeping with someone else.’ When I pretend to be cool with that, you will dump me.
  3. We’ll have many dates, each one with promise, and each one ending with an awkward peck on the cheek. The most painful category.
  4. We’ll exchange a lot of playful banter. The lead up will all be in place, but then I’ll leave suddenly.
  5. I’ll be aloof, but buy you drinks and invite you home for a nightcap.
  6. I’ll be argumentative from the start. I’ll laugh at your joke, but ask why it’s funny. Then I’ll become visibly bored.
  7. I’ll charm the pants off you at first, and then slowly shift into bizarre and psychotic mode until you stop returning my calls.

(Answers are posted as a comment.)


Blogger Erik writes:

Answer Key
1= D
2= B
3= F
4= C
5= A
6= E
7= G


Blogger hitbyabike writes:

Thank God I'm category G.

I'll expect your bizarre and psychotic any day now.


Blogger dan writes:

Sounds like you're borderline sociopathic no matter what the category.


Blogger Erik writes:

Well, Dan, It's like Amy Sedaris always says, 'If it's not borderline sociopathic, it's just not funny.'


Blogger Damon writes:

Hah! I'm glad an entry with me in it warranted a Venn diagram. Very entertaining post, Erik. I'm a big fan of well thought out match-ups.


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