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Tuesday, April 5

Pablo Picasso Was Not an Asshole

I have written before about saying things that I have regretted. Things that have hurt people. But occasionally, I give in to the dark side of the force and insult someone while having them thank me for it.

Jedi Mind Tricks are all in the timing and intonation.


  • At dinner, someone says, ‘Let me order the wine. If I can say something pretentious: I took a wine course at a community college last year.’

    ‘I don’t think that’s pretentious,’ I say.

    ‘Well, maybe just a little pretentious,’ they say, proudly.

    I think about saying, ‘not even a little pretentious,’ but decide I am pressing my luck and say nothing.


  • At a nightclub someone says, ‘I don’t know why I’m still single. I think people underestimate me.’

    ‘I don’t think people underestimate you,’ I say.

    ‘Erik, you are so sweet,’ they say.


No. No, really I’m not.

‘This is not the asshole you are looking for.’

3 Comments:

4/05/2005
Blogger goodbyetime writes:

too funny

 


4/05/2005
Blogger Spider writes:

It takes a certain kind of wit and humor to pull that off - and you have it - love your blog...

 


4/05/2005
Blogger hot babe writes:

Tis is why I read your blog.

 


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