I Got Called an Arrogant Asshole Last Night

I was saying goodnight to a group of people I had met last night, and one of them did that bar thing when they imagine no one will hear them.

‘Good night.’ Then as he turned said, ‘now go away.’

‘Excuse me?’ I said.

‘Oh, I said I hope you don’t go away.’

‘No. You didn’t.’

‘I’m glad you’re leaving. You’re an arrogant asshole.’

Now, just so we’re clear. I didn’t have any argument or disagreement with this man. I didn’t hit on his wife. I was actually pretty quiet all night.

‘I’m sorry. Have I done something to offend you?’

‘It’s your whole manner. It’s your whole Northeast attitude and you don’t respect people beneath your station in life.’

I am not from the northeast, but I thought that would be pointless to explain. The whole 'station in life' bullshit occurs when people know you are a doctor. Someone typically has to ask what I do three times before they get that out of me. One of his friends asked three times, so they did know. I handled it the way I usually do.

‘Well, I’m sorry if I offended you. Was there anything specific I did?’ I asked. He started going on and on about my ‘manner’ and then finally said I talked over someone’s head. I didn’t remember talking about anything that could even vaguely be construed as over anyone’s head. So I asked if he meant literally, which—I confess—I sometimes do. He said no.

The only thing I said that might be over someone’s head was when he said that Maxwell House, which does its roasting here in Jax, missed a tremendous opportunity by not advertising during the Superbowl. I said that national companies probably wouldn’t have that much to gain by advertising that they are housed in the Superbowl town, because Superbowl advertising is so expensive. He responded, ‘think of all the Superbowl fans who drink coffee.’ I changed the subject after that. So I only made one comment, and advertising and marketing are not exactly rocket science.

Still I apologized one more time.

His friends had all abandoned him. He started again telling me about ‘my whole manner’ and I cut him off.

‘I apologized if I offended you three times. Now, I’m done.’ I said and walked out, like the arrogant asshole that I am.