There Is No B

Perhaps I go on too much about Ryan Adams, but I just started listening to him 6 months ago and I feel like I did when I was 8 and my uncle gave me his entire Beatles record collection.

I spent most of the fourth grade playing the records and saying things like “yes, yes, yes, Mrs. Belen, that’s all very interesting about the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria and your paper mache dioramas, but I can’t get over what Phil Specter is doing on Sergeant Pepper. This is Important. This also is a brand new world.”

I like to imagine that it was that puggish cheek that got me thrown out of the gifted program, but really it was more likely the unauthorized experiment I performed with the class hamster and turtle.

Let’s just say the results did not look like this.

What’s this? You don’t know Ryan Adams? Well don’t turn out like that poor, poor hamster. Go buy his music now. Or view his discography. Go on, Snap. Snap.