The Headaches Are Killing Me

Believe me, after all the flack I got on the last list, I have been trying to tolerate them.

My nightstand has the empty bottles of aspirin to prove it. Motrin bottles roll out of my glove box, and I find myself fiddling with the Tylenol in my pockets at the beginning of the day, before they disappear into my dry mouth.

But it is starting to interfere with my concentration. So I put out the signal. This time I was to throw the potted clematis onto my front steps and leave the shards and dying flowers until I got my message. Last night I walked to the tennis courts in the nearby park. I pulled off the top of the end-post of the chainlink fence and there, rolled up, was the following list.

Frankly, I was a little confused when I read it, as it seemed we were doing a good job of following orders. Maybe it was the whole inauguration thing that was the problem.

In	Out
NYCBabylon	Wonkette
Eartha Kitt	Halle Berry
Quite determination	Cynicism
Spyware	SPAM
Fantastic Four	X-Men
John McCain	George W Bush
Josh Rouse	White Stripes
Sensible shoes	Hem Lines
Disaster Twins	Talented Siblings
The Jacksons	The Presleys
Satire	Irony
Burt Reynolds	Clint Eastwood
Electric Toothbrushes	Electric Hairdryers
Bulemia/Surgery/ Whatever it takes	Love Handles