Eight Advantages of Dating Someone on Parole

8) No annoying job promotions that suddenly take them out of town
7) You can end any fight by storming out of the house saying “You stay here; I’m going to vote.”
6) Three Words: Prison Sex Stories
5) Your friends will envy your ability to say “Well if your boss is that much of a pain in your ass, I know somebody who knows somebody who might be able to, um, help you out.”
4) They can make wine by spitting in a urinal container of apple juice and hiding it under the bed for three weeks.
3) The nights before parole officer meets you for assessments: best blow jobs ever
2) Guaranteed designated driver
1) Three Words: Prison Sex Stories