Playing Doctor

Initial Visit?

Friday, November 19

Lets get started then, Shall we?

Hellooooo Internet!

I arrived back from spending the weekend in New York City with my good friends Rob and Anna and had a lovely time. While there I was walking around the east village and saw an aromatherapy shop called "Just Calm Down." It struck me as weird to call a store about pleasure and comfort by a phrase that is usually used in hostility.
Then I thought it would be a fun project to start taking pictures of other businesses that came up with clever, but inappropriate, names that were based on similar unpleasant concepts, but I decided it would be easier to just make up a bunch.
My Friends Rob, Anna and I came up with this list:

Furniture Store: Just Sit Down

Hardware Store: You're Screwed

Marina: I think I Just Shipped Myself

Woman's Accessories: Whore Bags!

China/Crystal Boutique: Something Smells like Glass

Pet Grooming Salon: You Filthy Bitch

Hair Salon/Spa: You Lazy Cut!

Gastroenterologist: What's Up Your Ass?

Hospice: I'd Rather Be Dead

Medical Supply Store: Are You Some Kind of Cripple

Women's Dress Store: Go Frock Yourself

Bakery: Put My Cake in Your Mouth

I sent out that list to friends and relatives and asked for suggestions for others.
And I got some. Here are my sister's additions:

Church: Jesus Christ

Candy Store: Suck It

Pawn Shop: I Want My Money Back

My Friend Robbie from Jax came up with these:

Speech Therapist: Watchu Talkin Bout, Willis?

Drum Store: Beat It

Cheese (and Fish?) Purveyors: He Who Smelt It, Dealt It

Escalator Repairs: Up Yours

Watch Repair Shop: Watch Out!

My friend Alex came up five entries, three of which I don't understand, one of which is my all-time favorite, see if you can guess which one it is:

Ice Cream Parlor: Snowball Me

Holistic Store: My Brown Eye

Bar: Velvety Fold

Cleaning Services: ...Even the Spooge Stains

Deli: Toss My Salad


Blogger hot babe writes:

Of the five from Alex, I like three of them *a lot* but guessing you like the cleaners one.


Anonymous Anonymous writes:

A different Alex (me) and his first room mate came up with these 4 years ago and decided that they should all be in the same stripmall:

Travel Agency: Flights of Fancy
Pet Grooming: Cause for Paws
Party Planner: Confetti's!
Party Planner II: Impromptu's (owned by old gays)
Hair Salon: Hair Nor There

Yeah, they make no sense.

-Alex C.


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